Thursday, 16 December 2010

Kerry Katona's new life on the telly. Uh oh ;)

Uh oh. I have a bad feeling. Watching the fragile and not overly self-aware Kerry Katona bumble through her "new life down south" in her ITV2 reality programme The Next Chapter is not always a comfortable experience.

Our Kezza - let's call her that shall we - has been a staple of the tabloids for many years, and has had well publicised and plentiful personal problems throughout her life, many of which make her successes in show business, and as a mum, seem all the more remarkable.

The public took her to its heart after her endearingly simple - if often amusingly gobby - outlook on life led her to winning I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here several years ago.

Needless to say, it all unravelled and now two divorces and four kids later, Kerry has moved to Surrey from "her beloved north" to try and kick start her show business career.

And that is the point of the programme, Kerry's new life.

"Resting brand"

She has been signed up by a new management company who live just down the road, we're told, and she is now "looked after" by the same "team" as other ITV2 reality whore Peter Andre.

You can image the management team pitching the idea to ITV2 producers almost without even talking to Kerry about it first.

Which kind of makes the whole thing feel a little awkward - like her new managers spotted Kerry as a "resting brand", ripe for revival and waiting to be wheeled out and made money from, hoping to tap into any remaining public affection for the Kerry that won Celebrity.

For those viewers familiar with the ITV2 reality "genre", Kerry Katona's programme follows the same formula as previous The Next Chapter series about Katie Price and Peter Andre.

So - Kerry takes the kids to school, to the zoo, attends a photo shoot, moans about photographers, has meetings with managers, and gets ready in a hotel before going to some dodgy celebrity bash or another.

"Confusing quasi-reality realism continuum thing"

The moments invented for the sake of the cameras help in turn to feed the hopeful re-establishing of her "career in show business", like some confusing quasi-reality realism continuum thing with the cracks papered over by pages of Heat showing Victoria Beckham walking into a building in a short black skirt and a headline about her boobs or weight.

But just like Victoria Beckham's boobs (probably), you fear it's all going to explode at any second.

The house, which her management are renting for Kerry, is "nice but not me", and soon she is missing her friends back up north, especially as she's met a guy she likes there, who later freaks out when cameras start following him.

But she gets her OK! column back, which thrills her to bits.

As she drives herself somewhere in her loaned people carrier she says of Claire from her management team, "It's the first time I've just had someone looking out for me who's like a friend and who just cares about me."

A nation holds its breath, and tips its head to the right in sympathy. And that's why we're all watching again next week.

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