Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Secret Diary of a Call Girl: strangely comforting; great hair

Dame Billie Piper as Belle: Series four is the last 'in case they run out of plot' (pic: ITV)
If there's anything more comforting in life than a new series of The Secret Diary of a Call Girl starring Dame Billie Piper then I'd quite like to know about it.

It's curious, because the programme is often nothing more than Dame Billie strutting around in high heels and expensive clothes a lot, but it's a testament to her charisma that the programme is so enjoyable - all 22 minutes of it.

She does, as they say, "carry it". And "carry it" with aplomb, which is a very good word.

Which, in turn, probably has its advantages when you're playing a prostitute.

"Hooked on crack"

The programme's not-realistic-at-all depiction of the so-called "oldest profession" is glamourised to within an inch of its life, but the programme's emphasis on, erm, the funnier side of the job (if there even is one) is welcome.

I mean, who would want to see Billie standing on a dimly-lit street corner on a wet wintry Tuesday in, say, Derby, head to toe in Primark and desperate for a punter because she needs to pay her abusive pimp who's got her hooked on crack.

Where's the fun in that?! Besides, that's more Channel 4 than ITV2 - and ITV2 is Call Girl's perfect home.

Now in its fourth and final season, it is typical ITV2 fare - a little bit tacky, but with its tongue firmly where it should be. I MEAN IN ITS CHEEK READERS - I DON'T KNOW!

And what's even more delightful, is that Bille says this will be the last series because she's worried they will run out of plot, but the plot, such as it is, is paper-thin anyway.

We all just like to watch Billie pretend to have sex with "comic" men, or watch her talk directly to the camera as she struts around that impossibly large house she suddenly moved in to at the start of this series, and watch her tell people to "fuck off" in that charming way of hers.

You can't buy that class.*


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