Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Made in Chelsea series 2 episode 1: Feminism look away, it's "women as cake"

Made in Chelsea, the structured-reality soap with a plum in its mouth, is back - and it's like the immaculately-groomed cast, dressed in their muted tones and curiously pastel fashions, have never been away.

Not much has changed - but prize goon Spencer has had a shave and a haircut and as a result now looks like a clean-shaven goon but with a much better haircut.

But the points the show earns for Spencer’s new look get immediately cancelled out by the arrival of his friend Jamie – a posh, rich, party loving traveller who’s bad with money.

So much so that Jamie's “bank manager” (a sort of cockney-geezer-gone-slightly-posh accountant charged with looking after his family’s business fortune and who, like the audience, looks like he wants to "nut" Jamie one at the earliest opportunity) threatens to cut off his card.

But it’s a bit hard to care about Jamie. Why should we be bothered with someone who can no longer afford their champagne magnum delivery?

Although we're rooting for that headbutt from the accountant.

'Light incident'

Elsewhere, the scenes of light incident continue: the louche Ollie Locke takes his new girlfriend Chloe on a fishing trip, along with his best friends Binky and Cheska. Chloe ends up tasting a maggot.

Indications of tragedy - that is to say, stuff to develop over the series - involve Ollie’s ex Gabriella, who has now also become best friends with Binky and Cheska, but can’t let go of Ollie.

And Hugo - Spencer's best friend and boyfriend of Millie - has gone from loyal and moral and sensible to a kind of would-be "player" type, flirting with new cast member Victoria.

The situation leads to the following cringe-worthy exchange.


Hugo: "I want to have my cake and eat it. And I want two different types of cake depending on what mood I'm in."

Spencer: "If you're single you can have as many cakes as you want. You can go to the love bakery and have a taste of the whole lot."

Hugo: "I don't see why you should have to have just one flavour."

Spencer: "So try the other cakes - wander the store and taste the cakes! What type of cake would Victoria be?"

Hugo: "An exquisite cake."

Spencer: "It's hard not to have a taste of an exquisite cake when presented with one."

So there you have it - women presented as cake.

There are no words.

Apart from to say - Caggie's on her way back from New York.

Let's hope she's left her guitar behind.

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