Wednesday, 12 October 2011

If I allowed sweary language on this site I'd be profanin' like biatch right now

The eye-rolling news that MTV is auditioning for a new so-called 'structured reality' programme for the East London area of Dalston, to be made in the vein of Made in Chelsea/Only Way is Essex/Geordie Shore, is either grist to your mill or chaff and not wheat, depending on which side of the farming metaphors your ploughs are furrowed.

Sorry - tv-ooh's been out grazing with cattle all day. SHUT UP Daisy!

The plan, according to this report on the internet here, is for a series called The Only Way is Dalston - working title, everyone - concentrating, probably, on the lives and loves of a bunch of 'urban' and creative types with asymmetrical hair (is asymmetrical hair still in?) (is the expression 'still in' still in?) going about their contrived-for-the-cameras business.

Inevitably, the twit-count is in danger of being quite high. Dalston is one of those areas of East London known for its 'edge', its 'creative industries', and, to be honest, its crime and council estates  - the place you might live if you don't fancy the equally edgy Hackney (and tv-ooh has lived in Hackney and also Walford# too, in tv-ooh's time).

Let's have a quick mind-map of episode one then shall we (mind-maps are what you do now 'brain-storms' are outlawed due to upsetting people with epilepsy apparently - sorry epileptics!).

Scene one: some random bedsit somewhere in Dalston - inside, there's Josie, posh and rich but pretending to be poor and working class? She's off to score some crack.

Then there's Jez - he wants to direct films, so calls himself a film-maker. He's got the Star Wars wide screen editions on Bluray so he's so on it.

Elsewhere, we've got Mona, probably, she's a fashion stylist and deeply kooky, and probably some other people too as well, none of whom are that familiar with washing a lot.

Possibly someone with a tattoo and a cap. Caps in structured reality always work.

Oh that mind mapping didn't go very well did it.

Never mind, I'm sure The Only Way is Dalston will be much better than that and will be a huge success and everyone involved will deserve much applause etc etc.

*reader avoids eye contact, looks away nervously*

#Tv-ooh stayed in the B&B on Albert Square when Pat ran it. Not the ensuite.

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