Saturday, 24 December 2011

Merry Christmas from tv-ooh to you and you and you

You'll have to excuse tv-ooh: those 12 empty wine glasses all over the coffee table, that empty tin of Quality Street and that pile of empty After Eight chocolate mint sleeves (or whatever they're called) - NOISY BURP! - they all belong to tv-ooh.

You see, tv-ooh is indulging - oh hang on, where's the remote, oh it's there, no that's a banana - because it's Christmas.

So far, tv-ooh has watched the Miranda Christmas special, the Have I Got News For You Christmas special and the EastEnders Christmas special. Yeah that last one was a bit miserable, but hey ho.

And, over in 'structured reality' tv land, tv-ooh has also enjoyed the Made in Chelsea Christmas special - an 'ooh' to follow on that, later - and also the Essex Christmas special. Tv-ooh probably won't bother with an 'ooh' on that one; it wasn't great.

There are more televisual delights to come over the next few days; tv-ooh might even write about some of them, given the purpose and intention of this blog and everything.


Tv-ooh is also excited, but also a bit terrified, at the Gordon Ramsey programme that's live on Channel 4 on Christmas morning. The idea is you follow Gordon as he prepares a Christmas lunch, as you do the same at home.

Now, given that he is one of the most frightening men on television - even more scary than Ross Kemp in a randy mood while making a documentary in Afghanistan - who ON EARTH wants that foul-mouthed chef bawling at you through the screen? BASTE THAT TURKEY NOW YOU F***IN ****!

Now that kind of language is only going to add to one's stress levels as one wraps bacon strips around a sausage, isn't it.

Tv-ooh would also suggest, having looked at the image above, that Mr Ramsey means business, and that he's liable to do something unpleasant with those sharp utensils if you misbehave in anyway.

There's also an added frisson because it's live - so people may even just watch in the hope he loses his cool in some way, and ends up shouting and swearing a lot.

Ah, the true meaning of Christmas, eh readers!

But all that frippery aside, most of all, tv-ooh would like to wish you - be you loyal follower or casual browser - a very merry Christmas indeed.

x

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