Monday, 11 June 2012

Made in Chelsea series 3 episode 10: No cat fight but lots of unanswered questions as Cheska discovers she quite suits 'big hair'

Hopes of an aggressive cat fight between Cheska and Kimberley in some sort of country house showdown during the obligatory end of series party, maybe involving hair-pulling or crashing into a live chocolate fountain while somehow remaining immaculate, while the all but physically immobile Richard looks on blankly, proved fruitless.

Instead there was a 60s themed party - ostensibly organised by Ollie in his Union flag suit - and lots of so-called '60s dancing' (basically pretending to swim elaborately) while Francis sang 'Wild Thing' - and Cheska finally worked out she quite suits big hair.

But despite the so-so resolution of this series' two bigger plot lines - the Jamie/Louise/Spencer so-called 'love triangle' and the whole Cheska/Kimberley dyed-blonde hair bitch-off 'interface' - the conclusion of Made in Chelsea series three actually left several pressing questions unanswered. Pressing questions that until addressed will give tv-ooh absolutely no peace.


1. Millie's 'internship' at Glamour magazine

Who could forget how utterly but endearingly hopeless Millie was at a desk job? Rolling in at 11, not being quite sure what to do, then asking her mates along so they could have an absent-minded finger of racks of clothing for no apparent purpose? Either way, we need closure. Did Mils get bored? Did she announce she didn't need their dumb job as she's got a popstar boyfriend? Or was it all an elaborate ruse in order to create some 'drama' for 'television'?

2. Mad Gabriella and her 'music track' about 'miracles' to be used on Richard's 'tv ad' for his unspecified business

Made in Chelsea's loyal audience were robbed - robbed! - of hearing the final 'mixdown' of Mad Gab's track, complete with vocal acrobatic fun-time. As we've said before, tv-ooh has warmed to the crazy-haired loon. She's got a nice line in self-awareness and a tendency to dye the tips of her hair funny colours, but who cares - let's have more of Gabriella. Every show needs a character with hair like a My Little Pony.
Gabs looks concerned as Binks and Ollie recap the plot, briefly
3. What does Richard do anyway?

Tv-ooh is still not convinced he is actually a man, rather than a complicated robot impression of a man, sent back from the far future on a fact finding mission about so-called 'structured reality' tv shows, probably by a group of time travelling-equipped gay men from the year 2742 and with an over-developed sense of pointless fun, even if the end result has slightly misfired. What does Richard do anyway? When we see him at work he only ever seems to be practising using the keypad of a telephone with a pencil.

Richard working on his 'using phone keypad with pencil' technique
Surely that's covered in week one at Eton?

Or else he's practising his hand levelling skills.

Richard practising his hand-levelling: 'It's very nearly horizontal, Ollie'
4. Where is Hugo?

We've not seen Hugo - and therefore, his girlfriend Natalie (they come as a pair) so perhaps his future in the show is uncertain. Since he 'settled down' he's not had much to do, apart from support Spencer and mediate between Millie and Rosie. So perhaps Hugo's work is done? And with the development of Jamie/Proudlock and Francis as the new 'boys', perhaps Hugo's future has already been decided (ie he doesn't really have one, on screen that is). If that is so, tv-ooh will miss his trustworthy fashion-combo of blazer with upturned collar and immaculately-groomed beard-area hair growth.

Other key points like this all matters somehow


The development of Kimberley as a character not being quite who or what she seems has been good - having gone from the sweet, church going honey-pot favoured by Jamie, Spencer, Richard, Francis, Proudlock (but not really Ollie to be honest), to a slightly controlling and sinister mystery woman -  has felt like (brace yourself, slightly too serious expression coming up) an attempt at a narrative step forward, beyond the usual more two-dimensional characteristics of so-called 'structured reality', and trying something a bit more complicated and 'soap-like'. And given that it's all probably made up anyway, why not?

Even though Kimberley's non-committal response to Richard's enquiry as to their relationship status suggests Cheska's suspicions may well have been right, it looks like we'll never know. According to a story on the Mailonline website, Kimberley won't be returning to the show as she apparently threatened legal action against the show's producers for 'misrepresenting' her in the programme, while also allegedly having a fight with her friend Harriet. Oh.

Jamie and Spencer make up, then do a bit of dancin'
Spenny Spenny Spencer

And with Spencer, now off to do The Bachelor on Channel 5 and The Sun publishing pictures of him apparently showing him involved in that drug taking first reported a few months ago, perhaps his Chelsea future is uncertain too?

Either way, tv-ooh's not bothered to be honest, but let's not tell Jamie just yet eh - their plans to flat-share are all back on again, and the poor young blond boy won't be able to cope. Let's give them their few seconds of reconciliation-powered dancing, which formed the closing moments of series 3, while Louise looks on, as if she's been left out in the cold a bit.

Oh Louise, you only followed your heart, but we think you might have to get used to that feeling somehow.


Oh Cheska. We like you, but you really, really need to get yourself a fella.

And when is it coming back?

There's no news (as yet) on series 4, but it's possible series three will get a repeat around September, with a new series beginning in January 2013 (with a Christmas special thrown in beforehand where they'll go off to Lapland or someplace). Of course that's just a guess. Tv-ooh doesn't know, tv-ooh's high on drugs, and may well be off to audition to be a candy kitten a bit later. We won't get it.

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