Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Made in Chelsea series four: This is what we know

Everyone's favourite made-up so-called 'structured reality' relationship knees-up with nice hair and the odd dim-wit here and there - aka Made in Chelsea - is due to return to E4 'this autumn', which means, probably, a Monday in mid-September.

In between promoting their own products or businesses, or appearing in magazines or saying stuff on Twitter, the cast have been filming since July and, of the cast, some people have left, some people have stayed, some people have said they're staying and then left, and then some people who we haven't seen before will also be appearing but how much they'll get to do depends on how much trouble they cause, really. 

It is, in short, a brand new series and the whole prospect is quite exciting - but we think the hair will still be the same, ie perfect at all times, and we also think there will be Champagne on order and lots of half-finished drinks in nice cafe/bars, too. So that's a relief, eh.

This is what we know:

1. Flicky-hair sex object Kimberley is not returning, repeat, not returning. It's no great loss. Nor is Hugo, who disappeared a few episodes before the end of series three and none of his friends appeared to notice. No-one quite rocked the tweed blazer with upturned collars look as much as Hugo did, and for that we silently mourn his departure - we'll be strong.

Because of this - his departure, not his upturned collars - his girlfriend Natalie has also vanished. So has Caggie, in pursuit of her 'singing career', but Spencer - prize goon Spencer, who has been appearing in something called The Bachelor on Channel 5 or something - is coming back. A nation weeps.

Also back are Francis Boulle, Richard Dinan, Gabriella Ellis (yay!), Binky Felstead (Binks!), Fredrik Ferrier (who probably won't have much to do, let's be honest), Rosie Fortescue, Victoria Baker Harber, Cheska Hull, Jamie Laing, Ollie Locke, Harriet Loder, Millie Macintosh, Henrietta Moore, Ollie Proudlock, Louise Thompson and, of course, Mark-Francis Vandelli.

That's quite a lot of posh events - so they can meet up with each other to make the drama for us to watch - for someone to organise each week, isn't it.

2. Those new cast members who joined last series and who we hardly even saw on screen - in fact, tv-ooh never even learned their names so low was their profile - may or may not feature any more prominently than they did last year. Back to your job in a book-shop and trust fund, guys!

3. Of the new cast members announced for series four, one of them has an amazing name.

4. That name is Ianthe Rose Cochrane-Stack. She's sort of replacing Kimberley in as much as she is said to be 'dating' Richard. Obviously, she works as a fashion model, and says this: "I joined Made In Chelsea because I believe you should take opportunities when they come out of the blue. I met Richard through mutual friends and I'm really excited to see how the summer turns out. I hope I get along well with the rest of the cast, it's a little intimidating, feels like starting a new school!" Gosh!

5. Also joining the show are the far more regularly-named Andy Jordan, Sam Cussins and Stevie Johnson. They are all 23 and  know current cast member Jamie, and are all apparently 'best friends', so we can expect them to be stealing each other's girlfriends in no time, right viewers?

They appear to be the usual mix of privately educated ambitious entrepreneurs who like sport and have an eye for the ladies - the type of man who like to spend weekends in their mansions in the country while not working 'in the city'.

There are more announcements about new cast members for series four due soon, but that's certainly enough to be getting on with for now.

There are no pictures available of these new people yet either, but when there are, we'll have 'em.

In the meantime, here's a picture of Jamie opening a bottle of Champagne.

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