Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Dogging Tales tells us that a KFC and an orange Tango is more fun than random outdoor sex

Any documentary about dogging - that is, the practice of having, or watching others, have sex outdoors - was always going to have a high comedy value, no matter how hard it tried to be serious.

And Dogging Tales tried quite hard, with its pink-hued night-vision scenes of perplexed foxes or startled deer alongside the sights and sounds of doggers at work, or, to use their own parlance, 'at play'.

But the most memorable part was the sight of would-be dogger Terry and his girlfriend Sarah, complete with animal-themed masks to disguise their true identity.

Terry, who said he sometimes worked 12 hour shifts six days a week and often fell behind on keeping up with X-Factor, said he wanted to try dogging to spice up his relationship, as a way to keep Sarah happy after she had cheated on him.

Sarah and Terry from Dogging Tales: They enjoy KFC more

With another friend who liked 'to play', Anne, the three of them, plus the director and his night-vision camera, all crammed into Terry's tiny Toyota Yaris, and went out into a forest known for its night-time dogging.

But when another man joined in the fun, Terry, just like that poor deer, decided he wasn't comfortable.

"But that's what dogging is!" said Sarah, sounding a bit disappointed at having to cut short the fun, before tucking her large breasts back into her bra and deciding to go home for a chicken burger and a two litre bottle of orange Tango. "I hope you know how to get back!" said Terry, still a bit worried.

Later on, and with Anne nowhere to be seen, Terry and Sarah had decided that dogging was not really for them - and actually all they needed was each other's love.

For such a potentially racy subject, it's a surprisingly sweet conclusion and suggests that the overall message of Dogging Tales is actually quite a moral one.

Some of the dogging in Dogging Tales looked like this
The other participants - including a 49-year-old parrot-owning man who doesn't ever use condoms and has 18 kids and a 29-year-old bored-looking girlfriend, and another man who liked to watch other men have sex with his wife, something she says she enjoys as it makes her feel attractive after life-long body issues - raised as many questions as they answered.

They'd argue that dogging is what they enjoy and they're not hurting anyone else, so where is the harm. Doesn't everyone need a hobby.

But their behaviour - and indeed their own words - perhaps disguise a greater sadness behind all that fun they're having on the picnic table.

Not to mention the shock you might get if you stumbled across a naked man tied to a tree with a bag on his head and a written invitation to 'humiliate' him.


At times feeling almost like a spoof, and at other times just straightforwardly cringe-worthy, perhaps what was really missing here was a David Attenborough-type voice-over, with the man himself lurking in the bushes, binoculars around his neck, observing the action as it unfolds.

Either way, it really puts you off ever wanting to eat at a picnic table.

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