Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Made in Chelsea series 5: When did everyone start acting like such massive fools?


Well, by 'everyone' we chiefly mean Spencer, and by 'massive fools' we just mean 'total bell-ends' or, if you will, 'like idiots', but either way, we think Spencer is doing this - that is, 'acting like a fool' - as a means of getting more screen time.

As tv-ooh has previously debated over and over, this here 'structured reality' of Made in Chelsea is often more 'structured' than 'reality', so essentially, it's probably all made up and in doing so Spencer's exploits make great television.

So who's the fool now? Is it Spencer? Or is it Louise? Or is it both of them? Or is it us for watching? The answer is, yes, yes and yes.

And possibly.

But let's not let that stop us now. Instead of debating our own self-worth, how about we look at several of the key characters this season, perhaps in a slightly mocking fashion, and glibly examine their 'story' so far this series.

Spencer began this series by acting like a bell-end, with his infidelity and controlling of girlfriend Louise, who was always on the verge of tears, if not actually sobbing. He was unpleasant and at times resembled, in the words of Millie, a 'fat Baker Boy'. It's true, he looked a bit beefy. But was he acting like a fool? Yes. Has he redeemed himself? Not really, but he's elbowed himself into the role of lead character on the show, so he's done pretty well really, hasn't he.

Louise: Why ain't you at uni?
Louise began this series unhappy with Spencer, and, as also discussed before, spent most of her time in tears. As anyone with any empathy will tell you, it's because she loved him, but as anyone with any sort of common sense will also tell you, you try not to put that love before anything else, especially when 1) all it does is make you cry and 2) you're doing it on tv every week, structured reality or no structured reality.

So there was a big hurrah - assuming you care enough - when she finally let Spencer go, if only because it was quite a good scene and Spencer got angry. It also gave the very underused Millie something to react to, other than Rosie's blank face.

But then when it was revealed Spence and Louise were still meeting up for sex ('every evening') a nation wept. Or rather, a small portion of Made in Chelsea viewers went onto Twitter and got a bit het up and didn't use apostrophes.

We know not where Louise will end up - certainly not with Andy - but is anyone checking she's still doing her degree? Surely she should have, like, work to hand in and stuff? Turn up for lectures?

But is she a fool? Well, love made her a fool, so yes, but beyond that? No, no, no.

Lucy: 'Grill' not shown, ho ho

Lucy. Her 'up in my grill' statement last year was what made her stand out. It became like a thing? And everyone needs like a thing? So that became her thing? You know?

Her blossoming friendship with everyone's favourite - Binky - helped rehabilitate Lucy further, and her post-Louise romantic sojourn to Paris with Spencer gives her the opportunity for a few more end of episode confrontation scenes in bars, like the one with Louise and Lucy in episode 6.

We kind of want her to stay away from Spencer, but then if she didn't her scenes would mainly be her in the gym or 'shopping' and that gets quite old, quite quickly, doesn't it. We don't think Lucy is a fool. Anymore.

Cheska. Cheska! Tv-ooh knows people who absolutely hate Cheska which we've always found a bit perplexing. Her abandonment by Binks has resulted in us not seeing her so much - oh how we ache for those pointless scenes of Cheska, Binks and Ollie trying out a new form of exercise or shopping for clothes or doing some madcap scheme for no other reason than they're contractually obliged to, and stuff like that - but Cheska's friendship with gay Ollie (sorry, 'bi' Ollie) remains strong.

Cheska: Um, yeah...
She's always a sure-fire hit for a bit of aggro too, like in episode four over dinner with Ollie, his girlfriend Ashley (glad she returned from series 4, if only to get hurt again - poor Ashley), and Richard (making his sole appearance this series, the dullard) and Ollie's best friend (who we've never seen before and whose name we forget. Oh hang on it's Oscar).

It all nicely kicked off thanks to Cheska taking offence about something minor or other, and then Cheska acts blameless. We think she needs some love in her life, although seeing how that broke and ravaged Louise, we hesitate. But is Cheska a fool? No she is not, but maybe she should get a proper job.

The new lot: Phoebe, Josh, the other ones - yeah but what about them? For us, they are at the same party as Stevie, Sam (yet to reappear this series, thankfully), Proudlock, Richard, Fredrik and the other more minor characters who don't really have complicated love lives, or very much to say at all, or are not romantically involved with Spencer in some way (or perhaps in some cases just fail to show much on-screen charisma).

Or maybe, more accurately, it's because we don't like change STERN FACE.

So let's give them all a chance.

They've got one week: we will review this situation come the end of series five, and in the meantime, why not go over and remind yourself of all the other drivel we've written about Made in Chelsea here, which, to be honest, we really quite love really.

And actually, for all of Spencer's arsing about, his complicated love life makes good tv, which is why we're all here, after all.

Everyone loves a fat Baker Boy.

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